reflection, self care and coping with change

Posted in Life, Mental Health by


It’s unbelievable to think how much my life has changed in just a few short months. My 4 year relationship ended (that was back in December 2017, but we still lived together afterwards so it was a bit of a drawn out process), I started two new jobs, and I moved into a brand new flat with a brand new housemate. Basically, three of life’s most stressful situations threw themselves at me simultaneously, and it was ever-so-slightly challenging to say the least.

All in all, I’ve done pretty well. My new jobs are great and I made the transition pretty easily, and my flat is the best I’ve ever lived in (with an absolute hun of a housemate). My social life is the amazing (slightly too good sometimes – more on that later!), and I’ve made more new friends in the last 3 months than I have in the last 5 years. I’ve been lucky AF, basically!

Of course, no matter how smoothly these things go, so much happening in such a short space of time is always going to test your mental health a bit – ESPECIALLY if you’re completely unable to deal with change in any way, shape or form (*cough* me). Again, though, I’ve been lucky – my job working at the Headblush Glitta bar came at just the right time, as I was so busy with the Brighton Fringe festival throughout May that I hardly had time to think about anything else, despite it being one of the most difficult months of my life. Seriously – I went through every possible emotion approximately 10,000 times, but having to turn up to work wearing sequins and a smile, chat away and cover happy strangers in glitter really does wonders for your mood!

After the Fringe festival came to an end and I was thrown back into reality (and a brand new full time job too!), I struggled a bit to deal with the downtime and felt the need to ‘keep going’ at all times. Basically, I made sure that every single night of the week was filled with social events and distractions, drank a lot of wine and spent a lot of money. I had a good time, but I could slowly feel myself getting more and more scared to rest, and especially to spend time on my own. I’ve spoken before about my struggle to make peace with alone time, and I could feel myself slipping back into old habits again, which was pretty scary to say the least.

It was around this time that I was invited to attend a blogger’s wellness day at the Anahata Health Clinic in Kemptown, Brighton. There would be yoga (for beginners, thankfully – I am famously very much a beginner), healthy treats and a talk from the owner, followed by a treatment of our choice. I scanned the list, and my eye was immediately drawn to ‘life coaching’, because – let’s face it – my life was a mess and I needed someone to tell me how on earth to fix it. I’ve always struggled with traditional therapy and counselling, because I often leave with more questions than answers, and this sounded like someone might actually help me work out how to do something practical instead!

I attended the event and had a wonderful time with some lovely people. I was heavily hungover (like I’ve explained, my life was a mess), so the yoga was interesting – but I pushed on through and didn’t fall over, so it was a pretty good result. We learnt about the clinic’s mission to offer a wide range of therapies and treatments, from acupuncture to hypnotherapy, as well as courses such as yoga, in a way that is accessible to everyone. There are even low cost options for those who may not be able to afford the full price, and people from all walks of life are welcomed with open arms.

I left my life coaching session feeling so motivated. My lovely therapist Charlotte helped me to set achievable goals for the future based on what I’d like things to look like in the following through months. She was easy to talk to, and encouraged me to look at all aspects of my life and pin-point little things I could do to get to where I wanted to be. Basically, IT WAS GREAT. But… I’ll be honest. I got home, put my piece of paper with all my goals and my big life plans in a drawer, and I haven’t looked at it since. In my defence, I was all over the shop trying to settle in to my new job and I was about to move to a new flat, which mentally I had marked as the thing that would make everything better. Now, don’t get me wrong – my life isn’t as much of a mess today, but I definitely haven’t done at least 70% of the things I wrote down in my life coaching session. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about it until I re-discovered the notes a week or so ago.

I’m going to France on Friday to visit my family for a short but VERY much necessary break. I think I’ll take my notes with me, make some time to think through how I’d like the next few months to pan out, and what I can do to make that happen. Summer is always so busy, but (as sad as I am to admit it), I’m currently wearing a jumper and fluffy socks, which tells me that it’s probably coming to an end. And everyone knows that a new season is the only time you can possibly make any big life changes. #newseasonnewme yeah?

I’m not really sure what the point of this blog post was. I suppose it’s been a while since I did a little life update/brain dump post, and I wanted to give the Anahata Health Clinic a shout out, of course, because they were so generous and are doing such fantastic things. Mainly, I think I wanted to write down the fact that I want to change certain things in my life, so that I can be held accountable, and I promise I’ll check in a bit sooner next time. I might even book in another life coaching session with Charlotte to review the progress I make! Change is always something I’ve found difficult to cope with, and having so much come along at worse has made me completely forget about my self care, mental health and what I need to be happy, so it’s time I took control of things.

I’d love to hear your stories, tips for coping with change, self care ideas, experience with life coaching or ANYTHING else you might want to share having read this incredibly long and rambling post. Feel free to message me privately if you prefer, because I know some subjects are sensitive – but I really want to hear from you!

Alice xxx

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  • Reply Loryn

    I completely relate to this. After my mum has sepsis in December 2017, I struggled to deal with my feelings and I was working at a company and project that was sinking rapidly. Due to the depression and anxiety I was feeling, I took a lot of the pressure for the project as pressure for me. I lost my job, and this was heavily painted as something that was my own fault. Now, with clarity, I understand that the project was failing before I even got there. They haven’t even replaced me, which speaks volumes. Losing the job was actually a blessing in disguise though. At the same time, my grampy was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I got to spend his last 11 weeks trying to make him comfortable and happy. Losing my grampy was one of the hardest thing on top of everything but it actually forced me to make some decisions and get my life organised. Now I’m awaiting to start my dream career in October and rejoin all the things I used to enjoy, all in the hopes to make him proud and make myself happy! You’ll get there Alice, I have every faith in you! And down time will eventually feel like a treat to you. 🙂

    August 30, 2018 at 9:38 am
    • Reply Alice

      Oh Loryn, thank you so much for commenting. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much – I feel a bit guilty now as whilst my changes were challenging, they were generally positive things. Yours sound like they’ve been incredibly difficult, but I’m so happy you’re moving forward and wish you all the luck in the world with your new job! All my love! xxx

      August 30, 2018 at 11:56 am

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